Friday, January 4, 2008

This Just In......

The tinkle has landed. Repeat: The tinkle has landed. That's right folks, my baby, the final fruit of my womb, has successfully executed the pee-pee maneuver. He did it. After months of effort, red-faced, frustrating, toot-producing effort, he finally got an inkling of a tinkling. I don't know who was more excited. You know that this means, don't you? A glimmer of hope, a glimpse into a future where diapers and wipes don't exist. It's the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning...or the beginning of an end that begins to end with a beg.....never mind. You know what it means. It means Hooray for Us!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Meet My New Best Friend

For Christmas, my sweet, generous husband gave me a gift card to the mall.
Something you should understand about me, is that I'm cheap. Way cheap. So cheap, that after surveying the entire contents of the mall, all I could think about was the big sale that was happening at my favorite thrift store that weekend. Jeans on sale for $20? I could get some just like it for $1.50! Nice sweater, but nice sweaters will be for $.49. I was ready to go home unfulfilled, and then I saw it. Mac. I saw some girls sitting in black director's chairs getting their makeup done. They looked so glamorous. And then I knew. You don't buy makeup at thrift stores, that's just gross. I don't spend my own money on it, as a general rule, but somebody else's? I could do that. I signed up to have my face done the next day.
A girl positively caked with makeup sat me down, and began my transformation. I was a little apprehensive, but she was good, really good. When she was done, and I saw myself, I heard music. I saw sparkles in the air. It was love. I gave her my gift card, and said "hook me up". She did, and I left with most of what she'd so skillfully applied. You want to know the most amazing, fantabulous thing? A few hours later, I worked out. A few hours after that, I went swimming with the kids. Later that night, a whopping ELEVEN hours after my eyeshadow was applied, it still looked fresh. As a daisy. As a Carolina pine forest. I shoved my face right up to a very alarmed Thomas and shouted "Look! Look at my eyelids! My makeup is still there!" He smiled and nodded appreciatively, anything to get me out of his face.
I've done further experiments. Did you know that my eyeshadow will stay on, completely flawlessly for TWO WHOLE DAYS? Not that I'm the kind of person that would occasionally sleep in my makeup and then just remove the mascara smudges under my eyes the next morning and leave the rest. I'm not. This was purely for science, and sacrifices must be made. Oh, by the way, the sale at the thrift store was a dream. I got two pairs of adorable jeans, scads of clothes for the gym, sweaters, cute shoes...for how much, you ask? $19. Cheap is good.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Christmas Break Book Review

After Christmas Dinner, I was pretty much done with expending effort of any kind. I've been, as Kuba, our last exchange student would say, 'chillin'. On the couch. Reading. Towards the beginning of the break, we stopped by the library, and I checked out a huge stack of books that looked interesting to my boys. Particularly my older ones. Call it an insurance policy. With all this time on my hands, and nothing to do (that I wanted to do anyway) I jacked their books and read them. All but one of them. I read two books of the Alex Rider series. They were surprisingly intense! My 11 year old doesn't like them for that reason. I spent several hours in each book wondering how this 14 year old boy would survive the day. You see, in case you haven't seen the movie trailer, he's a spy. The books were almost spotlessly clean, you may see an occasional 'hell', and were devoid of sensuality. They were pretty serious adventures though.
I found another series by the same author, also involving a young teen boy who is a reluctant spy. These ones have a whole different feel. The main character, Nick, lives with his older brother who is a private detective and is practically witless. There is so much funny banter, silly wordplay and slapstick comedy, that you would never know the two series' were written by the same person. This series was squeaky, squeaky clean and very silly. There was still all the mortal peril we come to expect from a spy novel, but it was way more fun.
I checked out a book on CD, to listen to while I was cleaning; because you know, I clean for HOURS. Especially this Christmas break. I want you to know, that at no part of this book was I just sitting at the computer staring at the mesmerizing visualizations on the screen. Never. This was a seriously good book. It's about a girl in the seventh grade, who is so cerebral that she doesn't connect on any emotional level with her peers. My entire brood of boys was riveted to this book. It had an ending that I actually teared up for, and that's saying something. This is one of the best stories I've heard in a long time. The story is written from two points of view, and each girl's thought patterns are fleshed out so completely that you are sure they're real people.
The last book, has about 350 pages, and I read it in a day. I read it last, because it's about a dragon, and I'm a little prejudiced against books with dragon's that aren't Harry Potter. They seem like they're all the same. This one, was so beautifully written that when I absolutely had to put it down, I spent my time talking about how gripping the story was. It was originally written in Italian, and only published in English last year. It's not really about a dragon. It's about what happens to people when fear and ignorance take away humanity. It was a very satisfying read, with a great ending and a powerful message.
So you see, my friends, my time wasn't wasted. All that time curled up on the couch with either an enormous bowl of popcorn or a huge bag of chocolates was actually an investment. Right?

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Help! I'm Drowning!

I'm drowning in junk food. Junk food that I can't resist. Everywhere I look, everywhere I turn, I see this:

And This:

And This:

I walk across the floor, and stumble over this:
That's right, Cherry Cordial Hershey's Kisses. Did you know that it's possible, while engulfed in the pages of a good book, to eat an entire bag of these without even realizing it?
When I'm feeling munchy, which is, like, ALL THE TIME lately, and I look in the cupboards, this is what I see:

After Christmas dinner, there was so much pie left over. I knew, that if I'd just eat it all, I'd remove the temptation. I never usually buy sweets. I don't make desserts, as a rule. Not that I'm against it, mind you, but after having pulled together a main dish and two sides, I don't feel the need to make dessert too. I need to hire someone to do that. Or depend on neighbors that like to take their friends dessert. Like really good brownies. (Hint, hint AJ)
Anyway, when all the festivities are done, the junk food will be gone. After a few days of wicked sugar withdrawals, everything will go back to normal. Right? Right?
But for now, you'll have to excuse me. I think that's chocolate I see peeking out from under the couch.