Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Shock and Awe

That's what I felt when I opened the envelope. Shannon asked for my address a couple of weeks before, and I'd anxiously been watching the mailbox ever since. Shannon's the one in the Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, while I, in all my 7th grade glory, am looking rather daring in my denim jacket. My older sis, is looking fab in MY plaid pants. We all lived in the same block of civil war era apartments at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, where our dads were stationed. It was a very hot social scene, and we had a lot of crazy adventures together. We said goodbye at the end of the 9th grade when my family was transferred out west. We lost touch for a couple of decades, then she found my email address and wrote to find out what I'd become.

What had I become?

Hmmm, that's a tough one.

How about an expert in son manufacturing and distribution?

Queen of a small city state, plotting to conquer the world with my offspring?

That sounds about right.

So when she asked for my address, I assumed she'd stumbled upon priceless photos like the one above.
There were no photos in the envelope. I found, instead, a gift card to Macy's. She frequents my blog, and when she read about my ill-fated swimsuit dreams, my pain was her pain. So, in her infinite compassion, she reached out to me in love, and curiosity. See, she had a few stipulations for it's use.
#1 despite any family needs, spend the money solely on myself. Ha! No problem there.
#2 post what I spent it on.
So what did I do? I grabbed my mom, and we went shopping!
We tried on dresses, and suits...

Here's my mom with her "I can't believe I'm letting you take this picture, I know I'm going to look bad" look. Come on, Mom, loosen up! During this process, we realized that we have freakishly similar hands.Even the same crooked pinky.
I tried on a few tankini tops that didn't do me any favors. One made me look like a saggy elephant. One left a lot to be desired in the 'support' department, if you know what I mean. Then, I happened upon this little beauty:And I knew love. There was music playing, there were little sparkles in the air. It was magic. It's comfortable, secure, generous where it should be, multiplying my assets, obscuring any squishy parts. Hmm, it sounds like a man instead of a swim suit! I paired it with a cute blue swim skirt that is cellulite covering length, and we were in business.
I can't believe I'm actually posting photos of me in a swimsuit on my blog, but you wanted to see what I bought. A promise is a promise. Thanks, Shannon, you've done a great service to mankind.


12 comments:

The Clan of the Crazies said...

That was so sweet! That suit looked great on Mom too. Love the swimwear. Mine is MIA right now. I fear it may be buried under my bed somewhere "safe". I may pay my kids to go delving.

Doran & Jody said...

Yahoo! What a great friend. AND...it is always a great accomplishment when we can find a swimsuit that we can feel comfortable in. Great job. Love the colors too.

Lee said...

You are totally hot. And what an awesome friend you have. I love it!

Heeere's J-dude: said...

You are very brave but if I looked like you in a swimsuit I might post pictures of myself on my blog too. I went shopping about a month or so ago and a friend said "Oh, I can't wait for that blog!" But it never came because to adequately describe the process it would have merited a picture and there was no way in pergatory that I was going to do that. Yes, my friend you are brave - and skinny.

EarlGirl said...

Thanks guys, I admit, I'm experiencing palpitations.

Shannon said...

The fact you took your mom makes it even more perfect! That woman never ages does she?
Thank you for being so daring to post a picture in a swimsuit. It still amazes me you gave birth to a small clan of boys and still look that amazing. I have NEVER looked that good, even before the birth of Lucy.

fivekidsandsomechocolate said...

What a lovely friend you have! The suit you found is darling.
...Although, I don't think the pictures count entirely since the all important belly & thigh areas are not swimmingly clad.

I need to get plumper neighbors.

EarlGirl said...

You're right, just showing the top was cheating. I should have treated you all to the blinding glare of my thighs.

Jodi said...

That suit is darling! And you look so dang cute in it! But I'm sure I speak for us all in that we want to see the whole thing sometime! I bet it's even cuter with the matching bottoms! Great post!

Jenn said...

You look just like you did in high school! That is one amazing suit! I have the same hands too and so does our other sis. There are some other things we didn't inherit from our mom, though.*sigh*

Alinde said...

Missy your a hoot! I love the way you make everything fun and exciting, and how you have the greatest comments about life and motherhood, in the real world. (smile) You look awesome in this swimsuit. you're braver than I am........though I would break the camera. (smile)
Love ya
Aim

Allison said...

The suit is A-dorable...not to mention the girl in it!