Friday, June 6, 2008

I almost pulled a Dodi and Diana today!

Seriously, it was just like their high-speed chase through Paris, except it wasn't Paris, and no one wanted to take my picture. And I'm not blond. But other than that, it was exactly like it. We had been dining, and wanted to head back to our hotel (gasp! just like Diana!) except we'd been eating at the Hard Rock Cafe. See, I'm ready for some good 'ole American food by now. No more of this pickles and horseradish for breakfast. Anyway, we got in this taxi, and the driver had really wild eyes, desperate eyes. Eyes like he was bent on self-destruction. Eyes that burned with a fire that no taxi driving in Warsaw could put out. Those kind of eyes. He doesn't say a word to us, no attempts at conversation. He just takes off like a bat out of...well, he takes off fast. He's weaving in and out of cars, reaching speeds that I didn't know were possible on those narrow clogged streets. That's when I start thinking about Diana. I was sitting right behind him, so my legs were a little cramped. I realized that I had my legs crossed, and that when (not if) we crashed, I would turn into a pretzel. I have to get my knee up by my face to uncross, and I have a firm grip on my husband's hand. A muscle in his jaw keeps twitching and he later told me the guy was going 120 kph in places. I don't know exactly what that translates to, but the speed limit was like our 30 mph. The good news, is that we made it back to the hotel alive, and in record time. Whew! I guess I'm not a candle in the wind after all.
I've had a busy couple of days! I can report that I think I have seen every school-age child in Poland now. It seems like this week is field trip week wherever I go. It was really bad in Sandomierz though. Kuba's dad, his driver, and Kuba took me to the village of Sandomierz about a three hour drive from Warsaw. It was where Kuba's parents got married. It was a beautiful village, completely spared by the war. They had a castle, cathedral and amazing churches from the middle ages there. The cathedral was cool, and had some interesting art work. There were twelve huge paintings, one for every month of the year. Each painting had a martyr for every day. Yeah, there was a gruesome death depicted for every day of the year! My personal favorite was a guy whose intestines were flying out of him like live snakes. We Mormon's really need to get in on the action. Can you imagine a nice big Haun's Mill mural in our foyer?
The church was really pretty though, don't get me wrong. A few years ago, houses in this village just started getting swallowed up by the earth, and no one could figure out why. It turns out, that there were huge cellars underground that no one knew about. Miners went in and shored them up, and connected them so people can tour. We went down this dark staircase, and I was joking around about something in a not very quiet voice. At the bottom of the stairs, was about 50 kids in total silence. As I came into view and saw them, any sound died in my throat. I was so embarrassed. The kids just stared and stared at me. I was quite the side show, apparently. So we spent about an hour following these kids around underground.I got to climb another tower, but this one was pretty tame. No cold sweats and shaking here. I got to go on a nature trail that used to be the favorite of the Queen of Poland.

I went to this insanely cool mall.

Oh, and one last thing you may find interesting. As we were on the long drive to Sandomierz, Kuba laughingly told me about the symbol of Polish highways. He said every couple of miles or so, a prostitute will hang out by the side of the road. When an interested trucker will drive by, they'll just complete their 'transaction' in the forest a few feet away. I couldn't believe it. I looked and looked but never saw one. Then on the way back, I was dozing of when they all started calling out and pointing. Sure enough, there she was, a lone woman standing there all alone in the middle of nowhere. How long do you think she would last on an American freeway?

8 comments:

Dweezleboss said...

100 kph equals 60 mph--you were doing about 70. Those taxi drivers should check out Indianapolis. Were the streets also cobblestone? I wonder how long their tires last.

Not mad, sad. I hope you told him the idea for the Polish flag being flushed was inspired by you. You inspire so many people in so many ways.

Although I am not sinking under diapers, my house is rapidly deteriorating during your absence--more clothes, papers, and bodies--we were wrong about things not being much different when you're gone! I would tell you to hurry back, but that would be mean. Enjoy! Love you.

Dweezleboss said...

100 kph equals 60 mph--you were doing about 70. Those taxi drivers should check out Indianapolis. Were the streets also cobblestone? I wonder how long their tires last.

Not mad, sad. I hope you told him the idea for the Polish flag being flushed was inspired by you. You inspire so many people in so many ways.

Although I am not sinking under diapers, my house is rapidly deteriorating during your absence--more clothes, papers, and bodies--we were wrong about things not being much different when you're gone! I would tell you to hurry back, but that would be mean. Enjoy! Love you.

The Clan of the Crazies said...

Do you mean how long would she last before she got run over, abducted or transacted?

I love all the pictures by the way. I'm waiting for one of the intestines man.

Jodi said...

You are one brave woman. First to go in those underground tunnels! That would have freaked me out! But mostly for getting (or staying) in that cab with Mr. Evil! Hope you didn't tip him! Glas you're still safe.

I can't wait for more! This is so fun and interesting to read about!

Jenn said...

I'm glad to see you had a much happier ending. Sounds like you are having fun and much better weather than we are! I want a tour of that mall! What do they sell in the food court?

Momma K & Big J said...

Oh, that is so sad. Those poor poor girls. I wish everybody could know how loved they are. The places you're visiting look amazing. Glad you're having fun and survived the ride.

lovecat said...

I have to admit I'm a little jealous. It's time to start our world travels! Jenn get your passport and Lilly's diaper bag We are off!

Abby said...

I love it when you go to Poland. You always have so much to share. I especially loved the videos - so funny! You were really nice not to put that dough right in his face!