Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Family Planning Conspiracy

I was in my backyard today, inspecting my garden and fruit trees. All the fuzzy fruit babies are coming right along. The apricots are starting to blush with color. After a lousy harvest last year, the grapes are plentiful. I suspect they have some kind of 'every other year' thing going on. The apples are getting heavy, and are worm-free this year! Wah-hoo! The blackberries are getting black.But all was not well in the garden. It was here that I discovered something shocking. A family planning conspiracy!!! Yes, you read that correctly. Do you remember in the news a few weeks ago, a story of a pregnancy pact a bunch of girls made in a high school back east? They all apparently decided to get pregnant and raise their kids together? Well, the same thing has happened in my garden, except in reverse.
That's right. These girls decided that the whole 'multiply and replentish the earth' thing didn't apply to them. I don't know if they wanted more time, maybe they didn't feel ready. Perhaps they didn't want to be burdened with fruit while they were still so young. Whatever the reason, eight tomato plants decided to abstain. I did everything I could to set the mood: manure, plenty of water, a little mulch here and there, to no effect.
Thank goodness this gal didn't get the memo in time. She let one lone tomato squeak by. Thankfully, the rest of their neighbors haven't been swayed by the tomato gang's dangerously radical example.
The zucchini family are really cranking them out.
The peppers are expecting twins!The eggplant family haven't announced anything yet, but I think I see a little swelling there, a little bloat. What do you guys think?
The Tomatillo's have been having a fiesta over their good news.I wasn't going to say anything, but Mrs. Spaghetti-Squash is getting bigger by the day! Do you think that's all baby?
Who knew my garden would supply so much juicy gossip?

14 comments:

Tia Juana said...

This, my dear, was a very clever post! Very worthy of an award - albeit at the county fair!

I am a little jealous - mostly at the blackberries. Think of me when preserving.

I'm salivating.

Kimberly said...

Our strawberries are in full bloom while our tomato plants seem infertile. Oh, sure, there are flowers... but they never turn into anything. Perhaps the conspiracy reaches all the way to Ireland?

dots said...

Your garden looks GREAT!!...i've heard that tomatoes like to be watered less often, & when they are watered, very deeply...if they get too much more leaves, less produces more fruit...but what do I know, my plants are still only 6 inches tall!! ARGH!!

EarlGirl said...

Do you mean to tell me that my forgetting the sprinkler on my garden overnight at least once a week has forcibly sterilized my tomato girlies? NOOOOOOOOO! The inhumanity!!!!

Tiffany said...

Your blog is so great and I love the garden pictures. Oh, yes, juicy gossip!:) My tomato plants are doing the same thing. We have one lonely one, so sad, as my oldest son loves tomatoes. We hope they do something soon.:)

Alinde said...

Hi Missy, You are a HOOT! I love the way you write and the things you write about! It looks like a great year for gardening, looks like your going to have a lot of canning to do. (smile)

Poor tomatoes - (smile)
Love ya
Aimee

The Clan of the Crazies said...

I'm just grateful that blackberries grow wild here...and in massive abundance. There are some cherry trees down by the river too. They are my only garden this year.

Jenn said...

What a scandelous garden you have! Mine is hanging its head in shame.

Jodi said...

I dont' think that's all baby on Mrs. Spaghetti Squash. I think you now know where all the tomatoes went!

What a great post!

Alinde said...

Hey Missy, I need your help, Stephanie King posted a comment to my blog and told me she went private and to email her so she can add my email....but I don't have her email. Would you be able to help me by sending her my email, posting it or something like that?
aimee.linde@gmail.com
also Allison recently went private and I don't have her email...would you be able to help me with that? (smile) If you can't I understand, I was just hoping. (smile)
love ya,
aimee

PS I'm so glad your kids like my book, I'm just about done fixing the misspelled words and adding a TON of content it's now so far 367 pages... and I'm still working on book 2...I'll send you a free copy, for all your help! Thanks
Aimee

FleetingMoments said...

I luvvvvvvvvvvvvvv your garden. It looks like a picture out of a gardening magazine!

My Three Sons said...

How odd! I'm sorry about your tomatoes! I'll bring you some of mine....mine are over producing. (Maybe I slipped them some fertility drugs :)The rest of your grarden looks delicious!!

fivekidsandsomechocolate said...

It is obvious that your plants are feeling un-fulfilled . Have you tried reading to them?

lovecat said...

We are lucky that anything grows around here and the skunks don't eat it first. They really mean the "by the sweat of the brow" thing here. But your plants look magnificent!