Monday, July 7, 2008

What are you laughing at?!

My six year old giggled and squinted up at me. "Your fat stomach."
"What? Fat stomach? Baby, this isn't fat, this is love. This is sacrifice! These stretch marks are proof of what I went through to get all you boys here!" He just rolled his eyes. Then I regaled him with stories of my six pack from bygone days. I could out-crunch my husband in a contest. He would crumple in defeat and I would quit when I was bored. I sure wish I'd taken pictures.
Sigh. Anyway, back to my story.

We were camping. In paradise. Isn't this strip of grass between asphalt beautiful? We'd had a traumatic 2 1/2 hour drive in search of a campsite in 106 degree heat. The tip we'd been given of a fantastic place to camp didn't pan out, so we'd wasted half a tank of gas and we were grouchy. So we tied the boys up high in a tree to protect them from predators, and turned in. Just kidding, this guy rigged himself a cool pulley system. After a rough night's sleep, we were anxious to salvage the trip. My husband proposed an adventure. "Put on your shoes, boys, we're taking off!" And he walked out into the bush. And cactus. I didn't know we even HAD cactus here. But we do. And rattlesnakes. This was their home we were walking through. I coped with my fear by serenading them, announcing my presence. "Oh, snakies, stay away from me!" I got the silly tune stuck in everybody's head. Nothing bit us though, so it works. We found our own private beach. The water was so shallow, you could walk out 100 feet and it would only be up to your knees! I watched all this, fully clothed. Sweat ran down my neck. The sun beat down on my head. I tried to roll up my jeans, but what I really wanted to do, was swim! Luckily, my husband had packed some swim trunks, and he graciously lent them to me. The boys were riding driftwood, trying to balance on it and screaming with laughter when they rolled in the water. My husband took driftwood and built a raft.

I watched as long as a could, then I'd had enough. I went to the bushes, stripped off my shirt and hit the water with just my bra on top. Only my oldest looked twice, with a little suppressed grin. No one else batted an eye. That is, until my little six year old came up close for some sun screen. Then he couldn't help but stare and the beauty that is my wrinkly white stomach.
I guess this trip will live on in his memory for a long, long time.

6 comments:

Tia Juana said...

You are a total skinny dipper? Okay, skinnier than me anyway and in a bra??? Wow! I am impressed at your bravity. I am impressed that you did it in front of the fragile eyes that are your boys.

I am just so impressed.

I would be more impressed had you gone skinny dipping where the truck drivers from your truck stop camp site could have seen you. Now, that would have been impressive!

EarlGirl said...

Oh, don't worry. I was still wearing the swim trunks on the bottom! It was so much fun, we were totally secluded. My oldest son was at scout camp, so he missed this trip. When he came home and heard about it he made sure to tell me how totally inappropriate he thought I was, all said with a wry grin.

The Clan of the Crazies said...

Hmmm. Whose genes became dominant during THAT camping trip? Grandma, anyone? Was the song to the tune of "Hey, Sweetpea," by the way? Thanks a lot. Now it's stuck in my head! It is amazing to me that you guys have that kind of heat! We are struggling to stay in the 70's! Looks like you had a lot of fun.

EarlGirl said...

I know, I thought of grandma too! I could never figure out why dad was so freaked out to see him mom swimming in her bra. I think I made up the tune to my little song, it's not one I remember from anything else.

Jenn said...

Ah! I can't believe you did a grandma! Dad put off going into the pool for like an hour hoping Grandma would abandon the pool in her C cup that I'm sure at one point in time was stationed around her chest area. I don't know...I remember Kristy screaming something like, "They're hypothalmus is fully developed!" when you threw your two little boys in the shower with her. Okay they were three and one but when a hypothalmus is developed...you gotta respect it! Right? The jury is out on this one...
Now someone like me does that it's okay since you can't tell the back from the front. The bra is just a formality.

EarlGirl said...

For the record, they were two and one, TWO and ONE. There's a big difference :)