Humiliation in the Public Restroom

I know I'm lowering the tone a bit, but it's a story too good not to tell. Tonight we went to the theater to see Wall-E. It was fantastic. It was engrossing, so much so that by the end, I'd consumed way more soda than I had intended to. I was in pain. As soon as the credits began rolling, I eased myself out of the chair and made a rapid escape. I grabbed the first stall I could find in the crowded ladies room. Then I saw the toilet seat. Sitting slightly askew. Anyone could see that to descend upon that throne would send a girl quickly to the floor. And there were no seat covers. There was nothing for it but to squat. (I'm sorry, I know this is in poor taste. Bear with me.) I had no idea that I possessed special powers, but I know now that I do. This was no mere trickle. This was the sound of rushing waters, reverberating off every surface of the now silent room. It kept going and going. People started snickering, then laughing. Yeah, they were all laughing at me and then some lady says "Sheesh!" I'm blushing. I'm dying of embarrassment, but I'm still not done. I'm not kidding, and I'm not exaggerating, either. This really happened an hour ago. So what did I do when the flood had ended? Did I send forth a dove to see if it was safe to emerge? No. I hid my flaming red face in there until I was sure that everyone was gone! Then, as soon as I was safely in the van with my family, I unfolded these events to their view. All of it I could get out anyway, between the gasps and tears of laughter. Truly, this was a memorable family excursion. Note to self: next time, go easy on the soda.

Inspired

My heart's been really full lately, and I've been thinking about God and what I've learned in my life. I've learned that when I reach out, I find Him. I've learned that when I find Him, I become a little more like Him. My sorrows are eased, my capacity for joy increases. I'm more patient, more in love with my husband. I have more compassion for my boys, teaching moments seem to pop up everywhere. Ideas pop into my head about who I can help, and how to help them. In a nutshell, I've learned that the nature of God is love. Isn't it absurd that anyone truly seeking God could argue, hate or even kill over exactly how to follow Him?
What I want to know, is what have you learned in your lives about God, or Universal Truth, or whatever higher power you seek? I believe that truth is truth, no matter where it comes from. Will you share your truths with me? Don't make it a novel, and you don't need to make it sect specific. Just share what you've learned that has lifted you higher. Come on lurkers, you're welcome to comment, I doesn't matter if we've never met.

Anna's Cake- At Long Last!

My favorite part of this trip was chillin' with Anna in her kitchen. I love making real connections with people, and you just can't fake it in the kitchen. You know what I mean? We began the evening with a great dinner Anna had prepared. The guys got to talking and watching sports and Anna and I retreated to the kitchen to make pierogi. (Oh, I totally know how to make those now too.) I took pictures of the process and everything. In order to have room to work in, the dinner dishes needed to be done. (On an interesting side note, they hand wash there. They also have one compact cube of a washer and dryer combined. Neat, huh?) I offered to help with the dishes, but as I was company, she declined. So I sat and we talked as she made the dough. We talked about the differences in our cultures, about the month they spent in Sri Lanka (they've been almost everywhere) and about our presidential election. We talked about our personal philosophies, about what was most important to us. I offered to do the dishes again, and this time she let me. I took that as a pretty big compliment.
The name of this cake translated is Molder cake, or Mulder if you're an X-files fan. Because mold and cake don't go together for me, I've re-christened it "Anna's Cake". I love collecting recipes, so I had to get a photo of her book.
Here's how to make it:

List of Ingredients:
5 cups white flour
3 sticks of butter (not margarine)
6 eggs, separated. You'll use both the yolks and the whites.
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp sugar
1 1/2 cup jam (she uses a mixture of apple and plum)
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
3 Tbs cocoa powder

Prep work: Grease a 9x13 pan, preheat to 350 degrees.

First, you get a big bowl if you mix by hand, like Anna does, or a mixer bowl if you're a lazy American. Add flour and butter, egg yolks, baking powder, almond extract and 1 tsp of sugar. You put your right hand in, you take your right hand out, you put your right hand in, and you mix it all about.....When it's evenly mixed, you form it into three balls. One ball goes in the freezer, one in the fridge, and one goes back to the mixer. Add the cocoa powder to the ball in the mixer,

reform it into a ball and set it aside. Crumble the ball from the fridge in the pan and press it until it's even. Then you spread the jam on top. Then you crumble the chocolate ball and sprinkle it evenly over the jam. Then you take your favorite kitchen appliance and put it to work beating the egg whites. Marek, Anna's husband was up for the job. Beat the eggs until nice and foamy, adding the 1 1/2 cups sugar and vanilla as you go. When they're spreadable, not hard, spread them over the chocolate on the pan. Then this is the best part: you take the ball out of the freezer and grate it with a cheese grater over the egg whites. Then you pop it in the oven for 40 minutes. Allow it to cool before you serve it.Thank you Anna!
Yum.

Going AWOL

That's been me the last week or so. That's away without leave, for those of you who didn't grow up in the military. I have indeed been away from the blogging world. What have I been doing, exactly? I'll show you.

Here I am the night before school got out finalizing my educational and vocational training for my children during the summer. It's not as complicated as last year, but they still have to clean their rooms, read scriptures, do a predetermined school subject, an outside chore, an inside chore, a relationship-building activity with a designated brother, and practice their instrument. It's actually going pretty well so far.
Speaking of instruments.....I've purchased, nay, invested, in a violin for this sweety. Last year he had a train wreck of a school loaner to work with. They wouldn't let him keep it for the summer, so in order to keep up with his lessons, he's been entrusted with this little beauty. I've been assured by the sales guy that it will last him his whole life, unless he decides to go professional. It had better, is all I have to say. This boy is so naturally diligent and hardworking that I don't doubt he'll get decades of use out of it. Can't you see how thrilled he is?
I call this picture "Happy Father's Day- Just Don't Kiss Anyone"Instead of feasting on breakfast in bed, my poor husband spent Father's Day morning in urgent care with two of our boys. All three had strep throat. The next day, two more succumbed. I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank whoever exposed our family to this. Hmmm, after five office visit copays and rounds of antibiotics for everyone, what can I ever do to truly express my gratitude? I've got it- I'll just wait till we have someone with pinkeye or head lice. Then I'll get my revenge (I'm rubbing my hands together, cackling with an unholy glint in my eyes)
I've been boating with my girlies. Here are some of the cuties I teach on Sundays. I sooo love these girls.
And I've been schmoozing the neighbor's puppy. Too cute.
I've also spent a lot of time hunting and riding at a ranch outside of Tucson, Arizona. Sure, it was 100 years ago, but it's been real to me! The sequels to These is My Words got here, and I've been a ranching widow all week.

I've also been preparing the photos and recipe for Anna's cake. It should be ready tomorrow.

Modest Swimwear

Have you ever found yourself in a quandary, wondering if your swimsuit is modest enough? Got cellulite? Stretch marks? A squishy tummy? Thinning hair? Jiggly arms? An unsightly tattoo? I have a solution for you! Now introducing........

Wait for it,





Wait for it......

The Burquini.

Some Video of our Trip

We're back now, after a harrowing 24 hours of travel. At first I was excited because we only had one stop in Chicago, but what a stop it ended up being! We got there and settled in for a 5 (!) hour layover, watching CNN and munching popcorn. Lo and behold, on the news is Chicago's O'Hare airport with 400 flights canceled. I shifted nervously in my seat and said, "Babe, we'd better check the flight board again." Sure enough, over the next 9 hours, our flight changed times and gates over and over. Then, when the plane was ready, there was lightning. We ended up lifting off at midnight. So, yeah, I'm tired.
But, I've had fun going over our pictures and video. Here are a few short video clips we took. Check out the Baltic Sea, downtown Warsaw, me butchering the job of rolling out pierogi dough, and the view from a tower in Sandomierz.
Besides traveling the world, I've been doing some reading. My husband and I read this book out loud together.
We loved it. I was prepared not to, because I didn't like the vampire book. I know, I just offended most of you, but I really didn't like it. This was a great, fun and exciting book. Every moment when my husband was at work and we weren't reading, half my brain was still in a cave in the desert.
So, Host was great, but this one was one of the best books I've ever read. This one, I didn't just read, I soaked it into my very cells. I read it twice on my trip, and then I came home and bought it, and the other two she's written. Because I can't live without it. One of the things that really struck me about this story was the wonderful way the author dealt with intimacy in marriage. Beautiful. I finished it for the first time on a five hour train ride, and if I hadn't been in a compartment full of strangers, I would have been bawling my eyes out. Just thinking about it now makes me want to cry....Sniff.
I still have an illustrated cooking lesson direct from Anna's kitchen and tons more to share, but that'll have to come later because I have this mountain of laundry you wouldn't believe!

I almost pulled a Dodi and Diana today!

Seriously, it was just like their high-speed chase through Paris, except it wasn't Paris, and no one wanted to take my picture. And I'm not blond. But other than that, it was exactly like it. We had been dining, and wanted to head back to our hotel (gasp! just like Diana!) except we'd been eating at the Hard Rock Cafe. See, I'm ready for some good 'ole American food by now. No more of this pickles and horseradish for breakfast. Anyway, we got in this taxi, and the driver had really wild eyes, desperate eyes. Eyes like he was bent on self-destruction. Eyes that burned with a fire that no taxi driving in Warsaw could put out. Those kind of eyes. He doesn't say a word to us, no attempts at conversation. He just takes off like a bat out of...well, he takes off fast. He's weaving in and out of cars, reaching speeds that I didn't know were possible on those narrow clogged streets. That's when I start thinking about Diana. I was sitting right behind him, so my legs were a little cramped. I realized that I had my legs crossed, and that when (not if) we crashed, I would turn into a pretzel. I have to get my knee up by my face to uncross, and I have a firm grip on my husband's hand. A muscle in his jaw keeps twitching and he later told me the guy was going 120 kph in places. I don't know exactly what that translates to, but the speed limit was like our 30 mph. The good news, is that we made it back to the hotel alive, and in record time. Whew! I guess I'm not a candle in the wind after all.
I've had a busy couple of days! I can report that I think I have seen every school-age child in Poland now. It seems like this week is field trip week wherever I go. It was really bad in Sandomierz though. Kuba's dad, his driver, and Kuba took me to the village of Sandomierz about a three hour drive from Warsaw. It was where Kuba's parents got married. It was a beautiful village, completely spared by the war. They had a castle, cathedral and amazing churches from the middle ages there. The cathedral was cool, and had some interesting art work. There were twelve huge paintings, one for every month of the year. Each painting had a martyr for every day. Yeah, there was a gruesome death depicted for every day of the year! My personal favorite was a guy whose intestines were flying out of him like live snakes. We Mormon's really need to get in on the action. Can you imagine a nice big Haun's Mill mural in our foyer?
The church was really pretty though, don't get me wrong. A few years ago, houses in this village just started getting swallowed up by the earth, and no one could figure out why. It turns out, that there were huge cellars underground that no one knew about. Miners went in and shored them up, and connected them so people can tour. We went down this dark staircase, and I was joking around about something in a not very quiet voice. At the bottom of the stairs, was about 50 kids in total silence. As I came into view and saw them, any sound died in my throat. I was so embarrassed. The kids just stared and stared at me. I was quite the side show, apparently. So we spent about an hour following these kids around underground.I got to climb another tower, but this one was pretty tame. No cold sweats and shaking here. I got to go on a nature trail that used to be the favorite of the Queen of Poland.

I went to this insanely cool mall.

Oh, and one last thing you may find interesting. As we were on the long drive to Sandomierz, Kuba laughingly told me about the symbol of Polish highways. He said every couple of miles or so, a prostitute will hang out by the side of the road. When an interested trucker will drive by, they'll just complete their 'transaction' in the forest a few feet away. I couldn't believe it. I looked and looked but never saw one. Then on the way back, I was dozing of when they all started calling out and pointing. Sure enough, there she was, a lone woman standing there all alone in the middle of nowhere. How long do you think she would last on an American freeway?