Our Epic Journey

My neighbor and I have never been to Ikea, and our lives have been an empty sham. Feeling that aching emptiness in the place a trip to Ikea should be, I hatched a scheme. My sister was having a baby, and she lives by a large city. A city with an Ikea. We decided we'd haul all the seats out of my van, take the three hour drive, kiss the baby, and have a shopping trip of dreams. There was one problem though. Her husband wanted to come. If her husband was coming, nothing was going to keep my husband from coming along. So our girl's getaway turned into a double date.

We took off early in the morning, and all was smooth sailing until just before we hit the mountain pass. Then the engine started overheating. Luckily, we were close to a little town with a mechanic.This dude took a look, but was too busy to fix our van.

He sent us to this guy. I'll call him "Belly". He told us he'd take a look, and to come back in a hour or so. So we took off walking.

We spent many a diverting moment in a farm supply store.

We found some fascinating ensembles.

Who knew farm supply stores would be so fashion forward?We went to an antique shop that was really more of a thrift store. I had to drag my husband out of there before he bought the book "The Secrets of Psychic Powers". He sighed, and figured he knew everything in that book already, being a psychic and all. "Belly" turned out to be a really nice guy who fixed our van for cheap. It ended up only needing a new thermostat.
We made it to my Sis's house. I got to kiss the baby.
Isn't she sweet? She never did wake up the entire time I was there, despite my repeated encouragements. Here she is with her big sis. I heaved a sigh, and said goodbye. Then she woke up.
Then we went to Ikea. I was right. I hadn't really lived until that moment. We ate, we explored. We dumped tons of money and got really, really tired. I don't have any pictures of this part of the trip, I was too busy peeking in cupboards and closets.
After Ikea, we stopped at an old fashioned burger joint. My husband must have decided things were a little too quiet, because he told the waitress it was J's birthday. I tried to escape to the bathroom to avoid the embarrassing and fraudulent scene, but no dice. The waitress returned, and directed us to the front of the restaurant.
Yeah. It was loud, and he was embarrassed. But, he got a free t-shirt out of it, so it was all good. We took off, and headed for home. We saw about 20 elk! We also saw some pretty nasty blood stains and splatter patterns on the road that I could only assume were wildlife encounters. We talked, we laughed, it was a straight shot from here to home.Until we got pulled over. Apparently, my tabs had expired six weeks ago. As the cop took my husband's license and papers back to his car, I got a mini lecture on how expensive our ticket was going to be. I kinda remembered seeing the postcard in the mail around January, and thinking, 'wow, I have forever until I need to pay this' then I forgot it completely. Luckily, he had bigger fish to fry. He consented to a quick portrait, and the took off after someone whose tabs were way more expired than mine.We drove, laughed, and talked for hours. Please note that while my husband is posing for a picture and making a silly face, his eyes are still on the road. He's good about things like that. It was really, really late when we made it home. It was eleven, which in parent years is, like, four in the morning. I stumbled into my room, took off my shoes and fell into bed. "Close your eyes," my husband said, "I don't want you to see your Mother's Day present."
I don't remember anything after that. He unloaded the van, hauled the seats back in, picked up the kids from my parent's house and put them to bed. All the while, I was snoring peacefully. Now that's what I call a Mother's Day present.