Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Hypertextualization of Society

You know what I'm talking about. The teens and tweens, eyes glued to their phones, thumbs twittering about. Everywhere you go, you see it. Now, the affliction has spread to my very own house!

My older boys have long been suffering under the impression that they have a case of neglect for CPS. "Jake has an Iphone touch!" "Hunter has a Blackberry!" "You're only cool if you have the coolest phone, and I don't even have one at all!" Boo hoo.

I have been unmoved by all this whining. If my boys can't remember their lunches on a regular basis, how in the world are they going to be responsible for a small, expensive piece of telecomunications equipment? My son's mp3 player just went through the laundry. I rest my case.

If they did, indeed, ever get a cell phone, my plan was that it would be a disposable-type of jobbie with a total of 5 monthly minutes. There was a bit of a wrinkle in my plan.

I went out of town for the weekend.

Upon coming down from the mountain, like Moses, I got bad news.

In my absense, my husband had gotten my boys a cell phone. To add insult to injury, it was cooler than mine!

He had a really good reason, that didn't even involve the kids. It was a business decision, a calculated move. That didn't avert my nuclear reaction.

And it didn't phase the boys who were blissed out, dreaming and planning their future coolness.

My life has not been the same since.


I'm sitting with my kids in a booth of a restaurant. My phone beeps, I check my messages, because I get a lot of business ones these days. There is a photo of myself, taken a scant minute earlier. "You look tired."

A few minutes later, my phone beeps again. I check my phone. There is a big smiley emoticon bouncing with the message "Hi."

This goes on and on.

They have a limit of 400 messages.

Any bets on how soon they blow through these?


Michelle said...

My husband had a cell phone because he lived in a different state for the past two years, but he recently decided to get me my own phone. At the time he upgraded to a LG with a full keypad on his. His friends from his old job text him all evening long. I just about lost it the other night when it kept beeping through dinner.

Kim said...

Oh no! I'm so so sorry. Best of luck. I do not envy you one bit.

Jana said...

My deepest condolensces. My boy is begging for an iPhone. It isn't happening and I don't have to worry about the husband because he hates technology worse than I.

And just so you know, because I didn't but was so happy when someone told me, there is no buzzer or warning when they hit their 400 messages each month. You won't know it until it shows up on your bill and they have billed you umpteen thousand dollars per text over the 400 free ones. Just beware.

Home of the Muddy Kids said...

The only technical thing my boy asks for right now is a DS. I think that's like a Gameboy, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

Anonymous said...

My oldest two have cell phones as part of our family plan. They aren't fancy, just the basic came with the plan phone. They both play sports and I like them to be able to call me if they need to.

We have unlimited texting. I text to my husband and friends too. I have been known to text the boys from upstairs to ask them to do something like start the dishwasher. :)

Kimberly said...

Samantha got a digital camera for Christmas. She turns it length wise to use it for a phone to call her boyfriend, Sunshine, prince of the merpeople.

(She has a DS, however, and it is the BEST present Santa ever brought. All I have to do is hint that it is about to get taken away and she'll polish my shoes, scrub the floor, do the dishes... well, not really, but it is the BEST thing to barter with to make her do her chores, not talk back, etc. It is a little piece of parenting magic!)

Oh, and my phone doesn't even take pictures!!!!

MamaBird said...

Welcome, welcome welcome - be careful the space is tight in here with all of the other mom's who can not believe their children do not speak to them with their mouths anymore! LOL - :) (just had to put that acronym plug in...) once it starts the only thing you can pray for is that you have enough hiding places for the battery... :)

Sonja said...

I don't look forward to that phase, so far my boys just want more hotwheels :)

Anonymous said...

I am regularly ridiculed at work for the age of my phone: it can barely text, but it does receive calls very well. Because we don't use them very much, we're able to get away with the bare-minimum-$20-every-three-months nearly-disposable phones, but in this world of iPhones and BlackBerries, I sometimes wonder (maybe it's a guy thing) about upgrading.

Anonymous said...

there is totaly no such thing as a iphone touch!