Why Jello Shots, Fire Crackers and a Dry Field are not a Good Combination

We had a fun 4th of July. We went to the condo of a friend of ours, Nanny Pam. (This photo speaks to me. It says, "Honey, step away from the cookies. And keep on walking. Don't you hate pictures that make you think that? It's our only picture of the night, so I'm stuck with it. Anyway, back to Nanny Pam.) It's right by the river, where our town's firework display is. The kids brought her cool rocks and leaves, and dazzled her with their wit. We sat and chatted on her patio and watched as the sun set and darkness deepened. The condo next door, however, was a party in every sense of the word. They drank and drank, getting rowdier and more festive as the night wore on. They looked like clean cut, nice enough people, don't get me wrong, but by nightfall, they had their 'groove' on. Then they did us the great favor of providing a fantastic object lesson. They started letting off fireworks into a tinder-dry field. Of course it caught fire, it's been over 100 for a week! Their reaction was the best part. They stood there, flummoxed, telling each other "We need water." Duh. After a minute or so of this, my husband lets out a snort of disgust, and walks through the crowd next door, grabs their hose, turns on the water, walks to the field and puts the fire out. Neighbors on the other side were yelling at the partiers, calling them idiots, and we couldn't help but agree. It did make for a very productive conversation on the way home though.

My Newest Best Friend

Not that I don't still love my old best friend, I use her every day, but this.....miracle in a bottle deserves some attention. I have very fine, very straight hair. Hair that's always short, because I look like a corpse with long hair. You see, it clings to me, limp and lank. I love having short hair, I feel sassy and cute. I realized, however, after posting this picture, that I've had more or less the same hair style for over 20 years. And I'm not old enough for that yet. I've tried mousse, wax, expensive styling mud that makes my hair a stiff sculpture, I've slept in velcro rollers, in short, I have done everything I could think of to have the fuller, sexier hair that has eluded me. Until now. My friends, I give you:

TIGI Bedhead Super Star Thermal Blow Drying Lotion

After I get out of the shower, I squeeze out a nickel-sized amount in my hand (it's a liquid) and I work it through my hair. Then I blow dry. I'm still trying to get the hang of the whole round brush thing. Sometimes I just wish I could take my head off, plop it on the counter and blow it dry there. Until I can do that, I'll keep practicing. This ambrosia leaves your hair light and bouncy, not sticky. It makes me want to cry tears of joy.

ABC Tag

I'm a tardy tag answerer. I honestly mean to, then I get distracted. I think that's where my kids get it. So here I am, answering my sister's demand for personal information on my life and psyche. Here you go, Kristy.

A--Attached or Single? Attached. And I have a mental block about spelling that word. I always want to spell it attatched. And it's always wrong.
B--Best Friend? Easy. My kind, patient, forgiving, even-keeled husband. Best girlfriend? Hmmm. My sisters and the gals I'd let see my birth photos.
C-- Cake or Pie? Cherry pie. With vanilla ice cream.
D-- Day of Choice? Friday night. I have the whole weekend ahead of me. Anything is possible!
E-- Essential Item? Candy or gum in my purse. I get scared and anxious if I'm somewhere without a little snack. People always think I'm pregnant at church because I'm always the one in the back to the class sneaking food. I actually snuck chocolate chips up to the stand to sooth my nerves when I spoke in Sacrament meeting.
F--Favorite Color? Green. It's my signature color. (see Q)
G-- Gummy Bears or Worms? Worms. There's just something deliciously gross about them, the way they seem to slither around in my mouth.
H-- Hometown? The city I live in. I was actually born here and lived here for a whole three weeks! It's the one constant place in my Air Force brat life. I live next door to the house my mom grew up in. I never want to move. Ever.
I-- Indulgence(s)? Popcorn. I have an illicit relationship with the stuff. My favorite is air popped with Orville Redenbacher's popcorn oil on it. Yum.
J-- January or July? July. It's my birthday!
K-- Kids? Yeah, lots. My kids, neighbor kids, kids I don't even know....
L-- Life is Incomplete Without? That blissful feeling we have as a family in just being together. I often think that maybe we're taking up way too much happiness. If we took yours, I'm sorry. We'll try to cut back.
M-- Marriage Date? In a couple of days it'll be FOURTEEN YEARS! Yes, my son just turned 13. He was 6 days old for our first anniversary. We were pretty darn quick to reproduce.
N-- Number of siblings? 4
O-- Oranges or Apples? Oranges do really, really terrible things to me, so I'll say apple. Pie. With ice cream.
P-- Phobias or fears? Besides being stuck in a meeting and hungry without anything to eat? Shy people. Because I'm sure that they're thinking I'm an idiot. That gets me nervous and I talk more to fill the silence and remove any lingering doubts they might have.
Q-- Quotes? My favorites are from Steel Magnolias. Most of them I can't say aloud, I just think them and snicker. One of them is "He's a real gentleman. I'll bet the takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!" Classic.
R-- Reason to Smile? I have my own bathroom. That's a huge reason to smile.
S-- Season? Late spring. That's garden planting time, when the little fruit babies are emerging, nice and fuzzy, and the flowers are blooming.
T-- Tag 5 People? Sorry, I can't actually tag anyone. It's against my religion.
U-- Unknown Fact? I don't have a cell phone. Or caller ID. I know, it's shocking.
V-- Very Favorite Store? Hmmm. That's a tough one. I think I'd have to say Fred Meyer. There's one a mile or so from my house, and it's a place I go to get happy.
W-- Worst Habit? It's a little known fact that I don't have any. I don't spend too much time on the computer, and I don't have a bad temper sometimes (pms) and I'm a total neat freak, I have no hidden closets and storage rooms that are dens on disaster. Yeah.
X-- X-ray or Ultrasound? Ultrasound. Those are so much fun! Except for the one where all my hopes were pinned on having a girl. The book said there was a 95% chance. I bawled my head off in front of everyone in the room. I'm a very private crier, so that was traumatic.
Y-- Your Favorite Food? If you don't count popcorn, then fresh salsa and restaurant chips. With tons of cilantro. I have a sneaking suspicion that I was supposed to be born Mexican.
Z-- Zodiac? Cancer.
So there you go. More than you ever wanted to know.

Times they are a'changing

Last week I had a frightening realization. I am a grandma. How did this happen, you ask? Don't worry, my oldest son is only 13 and isn't interested in girls. Here's how it went down:
A decade ago, my husband was the scoutmaster of a certain smart mouthed kid. This kid was so obnoxious that my husband decided that either he was going to kill him, or learn to love him. Love him, he did. Thomas worked for my husband until we moved, and after he turned 18, he came to live with us. Thomas and I butted heads, engaged in pitched battles of will, but we became family. He left on his mission to Argentina, and returned soooo grateful for all the grief I gave him over table manners and what not to say to a lady. Example: "Wow, I'm surprised, this dinner is actually good!" is not a compliment. He's been a fantastic big brother/uncle to our boys. In fact, he's been our boy's scout leaders at times. How's that for irony? He and my sweety are tight. Next to me, he's my husband's closest friend. The three of us have had more late-night story-telling, laughing-till-you-cry times than I can count.

Last week, he left the nest for good. He married a fantastic gal. With an adorable daughter. So after the wedding was over, I was cheered to see him back here doing his laundry and asking me to babysit. That's a grandma, isn't it?

Humiliation in the Public Restroom

I know I'm lowering the tone a bit, but it's a story too good not to tell. Tonight we went to the theater to see Wall-E. It was fantastic. It was engrossing, so much so that by the end, I'd consumed way more soda than I had intended to. I was in pain. As soon as the credits began rolling, I eased myself out of the chair and made a rapid escape. I grabbed the first stall I could find in the crowded ladies room. Then I saw the toilet seat. Sitting slightly askew. Anyone could see that to descend upon that throne would send a girl quickly to the floor. And there were no seat covers. There was nothing for it but to squat. (I'm sorry, I know this is in poor taste. Bear with me.) I had no idea that I possessed special powers, but I know now that I do. This was no mere trickle. This was the sound of rushing waters, reverberating off every surface of the now silent room. It kept going and going. People started snickering, then laughing. Yeah, they were all laughing at me and then some lady says "Sheesh!" I'm blushing. I'm dying of embarrassment, but I'm still not done. I'm not kidding, and I'm not exaggerating, either. This really happened an hour ago. So what did I do when the flood had ended? Did I send forth a dove to see if it was safe to emerge? No. I hid my flaming red face in there until I was sure that everyone was gone! Then, as soon as I was safely in the van with my family, I unfolded these events to their view. All of it I could get out anyway, between the gasps and tears of laughter. Truly, this was a memorable family excursion. Note to self: next time, go easy on the soda.

Inspired

My heart's been really full lately, and I've been thinking about God and what I've learned in my life. I've learned that when I reach out, I find Him. I've learned that when I find Him, I become a little more like Him. My sorrows are eased, my capacity for joy increases. I'm more patient, more in love with my husband. I have more compassion for my boys, teaching moments seem to pop up everywhere. Ideas pop into my head about who I can help, and how to help them. In a nutshell, I've learned that the nature of God is love. Isn't it absurd that anyone truly seeking God could argue, hate or even kill over exactly how to follow Him?
What I want to know, is what have you learned in your lives about God, or Universal Truth, or whatever higher power you seek? I believe that truth is truth, no matter where it comes from. Will you share your truths with me? Don't make it a novel, and you don't need to make it sect specific. Just share what you've learned that has lifted you higher. Come on lurkers, you're welcome to comment, I doesn't matter if we've never met.

Anna's Cake- At Long Last!

My favorite part of this trip was chillin' with Anna in her kitchen. I love making real connections with people, and you just can't fake it in the kitchen. You know what I mean? We began the evening with a great dinner Anna had prepared. The guys got to talking and watching sports and Anna and I retreated to the kitchen to make pierogi. (Oh, I totally know how to make those now too.) I took pictures of the process and everything. In order to have room to work in, the dinner dishes needed to be done. (On an interesting side note, they hand wash there. They also have one compact cube of a washer and dryer combined. Neat, huh?) I offered to help with the dishes, but as I was company, she declined. So I sat and we talked as she made the dough. We talked about the differences in our cultures, about the month they spent in Sri Lanka (they've been almost everywhere) and about our presidential election. We talked about our personal philosophies, about what was most important to us. I offered to do the dishes again, and this time she let me. I took that as a pretty big compliment.
The name of this cake translated is Molder cake, or Mulder if you're an X-files fan. Because mold and cake don't go together for me, I've re-christened it "Anna's Cake". I love collecting recipes, so I had to get a photo of her book.
Here's how to make it:

List of Ingredients:
5 cups white flour
3 sticks of butter (not margarine)
6 eggs, separated. You'll use both the yolks and the whites.
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp almond extract
1 tsp sugar
1 1/2 cup jam (she uses a mixture of apple and plum)
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
3 Tbs cocoa powder

Prep work: Grease a 9x13 pan, preheat to 350 degrees.

First, you get a big bowl if you mix by hand, like Anna does, or a mixer bowl if you're a lazy American. Add flour and butter, egg yolks, baking powder, almond extract and 1 tsp of sugar. You put your right hand in, you take your right hand out, you put your right hand in, and you mix it all about.....When it's evenly mixed, you form it into three balls. One ball goes in the freezer, one in the fridge, and one goes back to the mixer. Add the cocoa powder to the ball in the mixer,

reform it into a ball and set it aside. Crumble the ball from the fridge in the pan and press it until it's even. Then you spread the jam on top. Then you crumble the chocolate ball and sprinkle it evenly over the jam. Then you take your favorite kitchen appliance and put it to work beating the egg whites. Marek, Anna's husband was up for the job. Beat the eggs until nice and foamy, adding the 1 1/2 cups sugar and vanilla as you go. When they're spreadable, not hard, spread them over the chocolate on the pan. Then this is the best part: you take the ball out of the freezer and grate it with a cheese grater over the egg whites. Then you pop it in the oven for 40 minutes. Allow it to cool before you serve it.Thank you Anna!
Yum.