Curse You and Your Long Arms!

He wailed as I steamrolled across him on his bed. My twelve year-old son had the prize is his grasp, held as far away from me as possible. He's getting stronger every day, but not strong enough to hold on to the book we're both in the middle of reading. See, it's bedtime. And he needs his sleep. I did what any caring mother would do. Any loving mother would tackle her son, squish him to goo and pry the precious book from his desperate fingers. Then she would wade across the room with him clinging stubbornly to her ankles, and climb up the stairs on her hands and knees as the hem of her jeans rip. She would emerge at the top of the stairs, book held aloft with the wild glee of triumph in her eyes. It's for his own good, it is after all, bedtime. And it's a dang good book.

Hey Jude

Houston, we have a problem.

Double pneumonia, and an allergic reaction so serious that I had to leave the Dr.'s office with an epipen, and keep one on me at all times.

My GQ six year-old has asthma. We knew that. He's been coughing for a few weeks, we assumed it was because of all the construction dust. Yesterday morning, he looked really worn down and was running a temp. I decided to keep him home and get him into the Dr. It's a good thing I did! I came home reeling and feeling like the world's worst mother for not seeing the danger signs earlier. I was greeted by a change in construction plans. It was my husband's day off, and did he ever have plans! Remember our toy room with the climbing wall, secret door, rope swing and tree fort? Gone. Along with my bedroom closet. So along with antibiotics, steroids, epipens and breathing treatments, I had this room:

My little sicky and his older brother moved to the family room downstairs, plastic sheeting went up to shield him from as much dust as possible, and the baby moved to our room. You can see his little bed in the corner. It was quite a day. I spent most of it frozen, wanting to just suck my thumb, curl up into a little ball, and rock. To my husband's credit, he worked like a machine, and the demo work was all finished, the room swept clean, and our room was put to rights before I came in for bed. It was amazing. Nevertheless, it was a very tough day.

Tagged by my Sista!

I can only use one word to answer these questions. It sounds tricky, but I'll do my best.

You're feeling: stuffed
To your left: telephone
On your mind: construction
Last meal included: ham
You sometimes find it hard to: clean
The weather: windy
Something you have a collection of: books
A smell that cheers you up: hyacinths
A smell that can ruin your mood: urine
How long since you last shaved: yesterday
The current state of your hair: overgrown
The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer):phonebook
Your skill with chopsticks: deadly
Which section you head for first in a bookstore: classics
...and after that?: knitting
Something you're craving: excercise (it's Sunday)
Your general thoughts on the presidential race: entertaining
How many times have you been hospitalized this year: none
Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: computer
You've always secretly thought you'd be a good: writer
Something that freaks you out a little: shy people
Something you've eaten too much of lately: Chocolate!
You have never: sky dive
You never want to: sky dive

So now that's done, I have a few random pictures to share. This one I took on a recent Saturday dinner at the park. The evening was so lovely, I had to try to capture it.
We may have found America's Top Model!
He's got the smoldering eyes, the GQ style, the long eyelashes.....
He's just missing the maturity.
Speaking of maturity, what kind of family can't get ready for church without hijinks like this? My husband is actually responsible for dressing him up in this. An entire load of laundry was ruined by a little someone who left a crayon in their pocket. This shirt still had the tags on. (sniff, sniff) Anywho, this certain 12 year old was anxious to show off the effects of what my little brother called 'pubeter'. The testosterone is flowing, his muscles are growing, he flexes, and Riiipppp- off falls the shirt.
Hoowee! This is a self-professed nerd who has an aversion to all things sports.And he's 12. His brothers are shaking in both fear and anticipation. They want muscles like that too!
On the construction front, the bathroom's coming right along.
My luscious vanity has arrived, and the little one has already put a ding in it.

With the weather warming up, the bigger boys have been playing outside more. They've invented an ingenious game on the rope swing. It's called "You hold on and I'll swing you around. When you fall to the ground, I win." If that isn't an injury waiting to happen, I don't know what is!

Timeout for Women- a photo essay

I could go on and on about what a fabulous time I had, the many, many amazing classes and speakers, the sparkling conversation, the laughs, the late-night-bunk-bed-in-the-dark chatter, the food, glorious food....but I won't. I'll just show you instead. Feast upon this, my friends:

I call this one "leaving the parking garage".
It's simple, but profound, with a sense of movement.

I present to you, "Mongolian Grill in Orange"

"Yum"
This is my husband's cute little sister.
"Sublimely Satiated"
This one speaks to me.
It says, "I just said something clever, and you'll never know what it was."
"Awesome kitchen designer"
Here she in in her new kitchen she designed herself . The last one was mostly destroyed in a fire. This one is way better, so it's all good.

"Fabulous, funny Songstress"
I profoundly regret what I am about to say. Please forgive me, but this photo confirms what I suspected at the time. Bold prints across the belly don't do anyone any favors. No matter how thin and fit and petite you are. Let this be a lesson to us all.
"To but kiss a wooden Indian makes life complete."
No explanation needed here.
"Mercy River Rocks"
Get it? River rocks? Hee hee.
Again, with the nitpicking. Forgive me. The chicky-babe in black needed to be in the middle for 'colorbalancedness'. Or she needed a red shirt. But like this, I kept leaning my head sideways.
"Husband's Wimmin Folk"

I need to prepare you for the next few photos. Don't be too shocked, but you're going to see some pretty deadly sins.

"Lust"
"Greed"
"Gluttony"

And my redemption....

"True and Sincere Remorse"
This meal remains with me to this day. I can feel it on my buns and thighs.

I call this one "Welcome Home, Mommy"
"We really, REALLY missed you."

My Choice Awards

Taking Lee and Kim's example, I've decided to host a first annual My Choice award for my favorite features. This year was a tough year, the contestants were all really great. There were a few features that just didn't belong in the competition, but they got voted out pretty early. Too bad for you, wide feet. Try again next year. The stretch marks were always good for a laugh, but in the end, you can't survive such stiff competition on personality alone. Alright, the features are lined up and ready, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Coming in at number 5......My Height!
Measuring in at just a hair under 5'8", this feature has been around since the seventh grade and comes in very handy. Tall enough to lend a commanding presence, but not so tall that jeans in the store don't fit, makes a valuable feature indeed. Stand up straight and take a bow, height.
Now for number 4, My Skin! Why don't you come and say a few words, Skin. "I just want to thank you for this award, it's such an honor!" (nervous giggle) "I've been with you your whole life, and I didn't think you even noticed me." (waving back tears and gulping madly) "You can get away with hardly ever wearing makeup, because of me, ME!" (slightly hysterical laughter) "But I showed you! That little brush with skin cancer really woke you up, didn't it! That'll teach you for those times you tanned naked on the roof in high school!" Alright, if we can just get security down here to escort her off the stage.....Great. Thanks a lot, skin. Moving on.

Number three, let's hear it for the Eyebrows! Almost black, these eyebrows were a dramatic contrast to blond hair in childhood. Adulthood brought darker hair, but these brows have stayed bold and have lent an air of sophistication that belies the true goofy nature underneath. A clever subterfuge, eyebrows, well done!

We're narrowing the field now, I can feel the tension building. Who will take home the crown? The really cute bum has created a lot of buzz with her new muscular shape, but will it be enough to win the prize? The legs have always had a lot of flash, but will last years varicose vein scandal scare away the judges? Only time will tell.

For number two, put your hands together for the Nose! Easily the most recognizable feature, the nose also has an impressive pedigree. Critics in junior high mocked it, but the most distinguished tastes (read: husband) call it regal. It's takes a lot of support to carry this nose well, and we'd like to recognize the jaw, eyes and brows for their work. No mere fun and perky pug, this nose makes a statement, and demands to be taken seriously.
Now for the one we've all been waiting for....drum roll please.....
This years Queen Feature is..........The BUST! (crowd gasps, followed by frantic whispering) Can this be? Yes, I have visual confirmation from the judges, the Bust did, in fact, come in first. Come on down, Bust, and take your prize! So, how do you explain the reaction of the crowd? "Well, first of all, everyone thinks to be great, you have to be big, but I guess this proves them wrong." You haven't even placed in previous contests, why do you think you've won now? "I think it's taken a while to be really appreciated for the work I've done. I mean, I've nursed like a champ for five years. During those years when I was a lot more, let's say, 'prominent' she was mortified by the idea of anyone staring at me. I lend femininity, but without the unwanted stares. This girl has a lot going for her, and by taking a more subdued role, they really notice her face, her eyes, they listen to what she says. So I just want to shout out to all you 'supporting role' busts out there: WE ROCK, AND WE DON'T SAG!"(crowd erupts in cheers, screaming 'small bust, small bust')
There you have it, folks! We've had drama, we've had tears, let's hear it for all the features in the My Choice Awards!

What does this look like to you?

Beyond the obvious, does it look like, say, three weeks of groceries for a family of nine? A posh weekend getaway? 48 trips to the movies? It is a beautiful faucet, but come on! I've learned a painful lesson. When a friend advises you to buy your faucets on ebay, just sit down, make a choice and do it. Don't piddle fart around over finish styles and handle shapes until the day before installation. Because hardware stores don't stock Roman tub faucets. They take 10 days to come in. If you wait until the day of installation and beg your plumber for a place you can buy one that day, he'll send you to some specialty showroom where even the tiny sink faucets cost $250. And you'll be stuck. As I made this purchase, I could see in my minds eye a future time when we get to the bottom of our last bucket of wheat. My children will come to me, with hollow cheeks and imploring eyes. "Mummy," (insert pitiful Charles Dickens English accent here) "is there any more gruel?" I'll blink away my tears and say in the anguish of my soul, "No my dearest, you know we spent all our money on the tub faucet." He nods, and asks, "can I at least go polish it again? It looks so pretty in the light." "Yes, love. If it makes you feel better."