Thursday, August 28, 2008


I've decided to thrill you all with a quick overview of my family members. I'll give them appropriate nicknames to keep you all from stalking them. (come on, you know you want to!)

So, I'd like to introduce you to Blade.
He's an original kind of guy. When he was a baby and toddler, he was a flirt with some serious game. He had platinum blond hair with long dark eyelashes. When we'd go to the wading pool, he'd find the cutest lifeguard, sit in her lap, and bat his eyelashes. He could do no wrong.

When he hit about three, his smoldering side began to emerge. In Sunbeams, instead of a drawing of a happy face for the paper entitled "I'm thankful for my nose and mouth" he drew a vampire with jagged fangs. He wanted to change his name to "Razor Blader". His favorite color was black with red glowing eyes.
Anyone else had a preschooler do that?



He had his big shot to be on tv one day at the grocery store. A new variety of apple was being introduced, and the filmers wanted footage of a cute child enjoying a crisp slice of apple. They flagged us down and marveled over our beautiful boy. We got that all the time, I'm telling you, he was beeee- utiful. We were flattered and proud of our little one, so we were happy to help. We were all happy and smiling, until they turned on the cameras and handed him the apple slice.

Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings, when Gollum gets a live fish? Blade did a Gollum. He screwed up his face until it looked like a little horn was emerging between his brows. He grabbed the apple, snarling, and there's no other way to describe it, savaged it. Chunks of fruit were flying, then he turned to the camera with apple carnage all over his face and growled. It looked a little like this, but so much worse.

No one spoke. Their faces were frozen. We avoided eye contact, thanked them and quickly went on with our shopping. I'm guessing they found another cute kid.

He's a fantastic artist, specializing in (you guessed it) weapons. But he has a tender side.No one is more gentle with a baby. He's mature beyond his years and can be trusted with a lot. I let him take his little brothers to the canyon with the camera, (that's trust) and I love to see the pictures and video he comes home with.
He craves adult conversation. He was reading at advanced high school level in the fourth grade, so when he hears adult conversation, he understands it. (Blast!) And he can hear every adult conversation within a mile radius, believe me. The other boys are in awe of his wit. He has a deadpan face and a deadpan voice and can deliver a devastatingly funny joke without cracking a smile. Let me tell you, it's a blessing to have a kid who tells jokes that are actually funny!
He plays a lot of jokes on us. Take this one, for instance: I made a drawer of food for each boy. Inside there was cold cereal, lunch fixings, after school snacks, all kinds of things. It became each boy's responsibility to make his own lunch. Blade didn't really feel like making his own lunch. So what did he do? He went around to kids in the lunch room and told them his family was too poor to give him lunch. Then he ate their donations to the 'needy'.


For months.

I am now making their lunches again. He won that round. This is living proof that there is power to the motherly "I hope you get a child just like you!" curse. He's me without the pantyhose on Sunday, it's true.
Speaking of Sunday, last week, for the first time in 8 years, we walked the five blocks to church. I'd always wanted to try it, and it seemed like a good enough time. We were halfway home when a lady in our ward pulled up coming from the other direction. "You're such a great family, and your oldest son told me you're walking to save money on gas. Will you please let me drive you home?!"
What do you say to that?

"Yeah, drive me home quickly so I can beat that boy!"
I'm not sure we're going to be walking to church again.

He's an original, my Blade. He loves long conversations about the world, and he's always interested in my thoughts and ideas. Unlike a lot of teen boys, my opinion really matters to him. He has the ability to see analogies in life, and I love to hear him share them with the family. He has a way of wrapping his little brothers around his finger. He has this tough exterior, but he only just barely got too old for snuggle time in my bed. I still like to curl up with him on the couch, and read Harry Potter to him. Yeah, I know he's read it a million times, but we still love to do it. And he'll always be my baby.


Jana said...

Oh my! He is an original. I think I would really enjoy Blade. HIs name fits him - very slick but useful! I lke it and him. What did you say to the lady about the gas? Funny.

SkinnyJeanGirl said...

It sounds like your son is one of a kind. He sounds like a good kid though. One that keeps you on your toes and rolling with laughter. I look forward to my little guys growing up and seeing what kind of young men they turn out to be.:O) Fun post. (Oh, yes, please let me if I have nothing better to do!LOL)

Jodi said...

He is very handsome...I am sure you can't get away with beautiful anymore at his age! Great post. I loved getting to know your fam better. Hope you will do the rest!

Allison said...

Fascinating! I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to "meet" the others! And may I just state what a fabulous mother I think you are...

Jenn said...

A very good description of the guy! Maybe the whole fascination with weapons and such will scare the girls off during the danger years? When our boys burp or make other noises (ever two seconds) we say, "Yeah, do that in front of the girls. They will LOVE it." With a face and bod like he's got you're going to need every card in your hand.

Home of the Muddy Kids said...

I do love that boy. He would draw the most amazing pictures as a little kid. He has talent just oozing out his pores. And, he's just such a good looking kid! I think he gets it from the aunt that shares his birthday. (o:

Anonymous said...

I hate the picture of me at the beginning.

Anonymous said...

so I only drew good pictures as a little kid huh?